Odd Woman Out

March 08, 2017

Today, I took a trip back to memory lane while playing with my hubby's cube. I can never get it to the same color on one side let alone all 6 sides. I really tried and actually ended with one color out of place. As I was looking at that odd color standing out I realized that I was a lot like that one color. In my personal life I have always felt like the odd woman out. This is a feeling that has always been there but now as an adult I have embraced this is part of who I am today. As I was sitting there staring  at that one color I couldn't help but feel exactly the same. You see, I've never been the type of girl to be part of the cliques, crowds or any particular group. I've been backstabbed and hurt by those closest to me, yet I'm still standing. Growing up with a single mother you learn to grow thick skin pretty quickly, you learn to depend on yourself and to have your own back. Unfortunately, you also learn to build up walls because trusting others is not given, it's earned. 

This post isn't to bash anyone in my past in any way, shape or form. This post is to encourage those of you that feel like the Odd Woman/Man Out. It's okay to feel that way, I mean, it's okay to be that way. There is nothing wrong with you, there never has been. I truly believe part of embracing this is learning to love yourself first. If you don't love yourself first then you won't be able to love those around you who actually care about you and want you to be genuinely happy. Take it from someone who growing up had a hard time loving herself, I would question why my "father" loved his other kids but never took the time to make time for me. I was rejected and so my coping mechanism has always been to build a wall up around my heart. You're not getting in unless I let you in. That was my mentality for a long time. This was a wrong way to live, I had to let go of all that anger and bitterness towards a person who never cared about me. 

Personally, for me I've had to move forward because I cannot remain stuck in my past nor in what has happened within a few years or last year. My choice will always be to move forward to become a better version for my self first and my husband next. I can honestly say that my husband is the only person that I know has my back 110% no one else that I know of has my back like he does, he has proven it time and time again. I'm grateful for him, more than you know. But even having the love of God, the love of my husband and the love of a devoted single mother; this girl is still the Odd Woman Out. I'm always being singled out by family for the person I am. I am who I am, you either accept it or you can walk away from it. In my case, I've chosen to walk away from those that only judge, criticize and belittle my intelligence. I deserve being surrounded by people that love and accept me for who I am and guess what so do you!

Even though you may be different than everyone else that does not mean that you should be treated differently. You should be respected and loved and you shouldn't have to take crap from anyone that includes people in your family. If there are people like that in your life, my biggest advice would be to walk away from them because guess what? you're not the problem. You will feel like you can breathe again and be yourself again. There's nothing worse than that feeling of having to "fit in" and feel like you have to walk on eggshells with some people. Nah, forget that... let go of that feeling, embrace being different, embrace your faults and mistakes and learn to be happy with the people that love you just the way you are. 

It's okay to be the odd one out!

You are enough.


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