October 17, 2016

Lately, I have been feeling like the things I've been posting aren't completely and truly a representation of who I am as an individual. Now, I love me some good make up reviews and some DIY's but that truly isn't the core of who I am as a Woman. Yes, those things are nice and fun to write about, in fact I make the time to truly review and write about things that I like. But lately, I've been feeling discouraged and it hasn't been because I feel like I am not really encouraging people with what I am encouraged with daily & that is my Faith. I know what you may be thinking, "to each their own", "you should keep religion out of blogging," "I know this is your blog, but can you not!" I understand and respect every one's opinion regarding me sharing my faith on my blog but I am finding it necessary to do so. Christ is the core of who I am. I'm not saying I'm going to write about it all the time, there will continue to be posts about makeup reviews and DIY's but what I am saying is that there will be posts about meaningful bible verses that have been essential to my spiritual walk and growth. I will understand if you decide to no longer follow this blog because of it. I'm doing this for myself and I hope you can come along this journey with me. 

I've been a Jesus follower since the age of 12, by the time I reached the age of 15 I really didn't care much about church folk or the messages taught from the pulpit. My mom's prayers (I truly believe) where essential for my return to the Christian faith. At the age of 21 after living a life without God because I had turned my back against Him, I turned back to Him, repented of my sins and have never turned back since. I know this may sound weird to some of you but if you've made it this far reading this post, then I encourage you to continue reading because I know there is something for you here today. When I chose to walk away from what I was taught from very young I knew that it was what I wanted at that time. I wanted to experience the world and all it had to offer. At one point I got tired of all "the rules" the church had placed, I got tired of people telling me what to do, what to say, what to wear and the list goes on. That is when I rebelled against everything and everyone who was in my life at that time. I even dropped out of high school and decided to start working two jobs to support my lifestyle. 

There were many times that people would come up to me and talk to me about Jesus. I didn't want to hear it, I wasn't in the state of mind that I cared about people's religion. That point in my life although  on the outside everything seemed to be okay, deep down inside I knew better, I knew that the life I was leading would take me down a black hole... but I kept digging that hole, deeper and deeper. I remember getting home very late and my mom was always up waiting for me to arrive home safely. She would look at me and ask me what I was doing with my life? I would never have an answer for her, to be honest, I didn't have an answer. My mom would always tell me "I am praying for you" and I remember I would look at her dead in the face saying "don't." If there is one thing you're going to get out of this today is that Prayer is powerful. My mom would tell me those words every chance she got at some point they became routine and I would eventually stop answering back with "don't." You see I may have been fooling myself and my "friends" at the time that everything was okay, but God knew my heart then and knew that what I needed was a dose of reality.

A lot of time passed by at the age of 20 I remember hanging out with a group of friends, I also remember a friend of mine leaving and never coming back. That was it, That was my turning point. I remember going home earlier than usual and running straight up to my room in tears for the first time in years I prayed and asked God to forgive me, I told God that I didn't want to end up like my friend who I loved dearly, I didn't want to end up dead. I felt this overwhelming peace of mind the next day my mom knocked on my door early in the morning and said "I need a ride to church, your sister can't take me because she's not going today" I remember waking up and telling her "I'll take you but I'm not staying." That was exactly what I did, I woke up brushed my teeth and hair, put on a pair of jeans with a t-shirt and drove her to church. On the way there my mom was trying to convince me to stay, I refused. I asked her if I was picking her up and she had told me that my sister would be picking her up. 

My return to a church happened a couple of weeks later, that story will be for another time. The message here today is that no matter how far you feel like you have fallen from grace, God will always be there to pick you back up. God's purpose for me was to be saved, I am chosen by Him. I am so honored that a God that has known me from my mother's womb loved me so much that He sent His one and only son to die on the cross for my sins {John 3:16} and now He sits at the right hand of God looking out for me and mine. I surrendered my lifestyle and made a complete change around, now my time was used for God and His kingdom. It was used to teach the message, to encourage, to serve others, to be a blessing to others. God cares about people, He loves people. Today, I want to tell you that no matter what you have done in your past or what you are doing now, God is sovereign to forgive you and restore you. God has a plan and a purpose for your life {Jeremiah 29:11}. God is merciful and loving. He loves you my friend. As do I. This is why I chose to share this story with you today. 

My hope is that you're encouraged and moved by this story, that you come to an understanding that no matter how bad you think you are, no matter how far back you've fallen, no matter how deep in sin you're living now, God loves you and has a plan for your life.


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