Proud Moment

September 26, 2016

The proudest moment in my life was the day that someone I thought would be in my life forever walked away. You might be thinking how can that be a proud moment, well, keep reading and you'll understand. Back in the day, like way back when I was about 15 years of age I made a couple of friends. Some were closer than others, when you're young you think you know it all only to find out later on in life that you never knew anything at all. You surround yourself with people that make you smile, laugh and are there for you in times of need, because the reality is that it is then where you realize who your good friends are. It was then that I met this person that we will name Dan. So, I met Dan because of his brother who at the time was our youth leader in the church that I attended back then. I actually thought that Dan was annoying and I really didn't see us ever becoming friends or even close. He wasn't the type of friend I would have around, ya know, not to be mean I was surprised when we actually hung out and a nice friendship bloomed.

Now, I also had some girlfriends that when I became friends with Dan were kind of scratching their heads like "why are you friends with this guy?" I think back then I was very open to having a close knit of friends but I was always welcoming of new people into our group because I have never been someone to push someone away without giving them a chance. As years went by Dan and I grew closer, so close in fact that their was even a rumor in the church that Dan and I were dating! These rumors were untrue, he's never been my type. Unfortunately, people made such a big deal about it that there was a time that Dan stopped hanging out with me but would still text me every now and then. I honestly didn't care because as I said before I always had my girlfriends that have always stood by me and have always been there for me no matter what. Dan did his own thing and I did the same, keeping my distance.... first red flag.

Eventually, I stopped attending this church and I stopped going to church all together. There was one point during this transition that I reached out to Dan for some help because I was going through some stuff. I literately showed up at his job at the time and he didn't ask questions, he just helped me. After that encounter we didn't lose touch again, we would call, text and hang out with each other when we could. I was dating my now husband at the time and he didn't mind my friend, I made it clear to him that he was just a good friend. Dan was invited to my wedding, he actually took video of the ceremony which I appreciated because we didn't have the funds for it, I didn't even ask him to do it, he just did. As far as I was aware Dan and I were great friends, I honestly saw him as a brother and nothing more.

Forward to the ending of last year, Dan cut me off cold turkey his excuse was that he was going back to school and needed to concentrate in his studies and couldn't be talking to me, blah, blah... I guess I was a distraction. I knew, in my gut that he was lying & that he was hiding something. I'm a 31 year old woman with a sixth sense, do you honestly think you could just lie to my face?! Nah. I guess some people have no regards for other people's feelings. Dan was part of my family, geesh, he was family. Now, there is something I didn't mention, back in the day and years after he was on and off with a girl that was my friend and was also part of my family. I loved her dearly and always wanted the best for her. I was actually super happy when I found out that they were together back in the day, as long as my friends were happy and in love, that's all that mattered to me. It is still the way I feel today about all my close friends. The last time I spoke to Dan in person he told me that they had broken up & that he didn't want anything to do with her, I even asked him "Are you sure, I know you love her! You should fight for someone you love!" his response, "I'm done."

So, back to him cutting me off and giving me a lame excuse, I wanted the TRUTH. It was the least that he could do since we had been friends for over 10+ years, I would think that he could be honest with me. The last time I spoke to him over the phone he told me "What do you want me to tell you?" he was very standoffish, I was in tears and said "I want the truth!" he couldn't give me that. He gave me excuses and lies, but I knew better. After I hung up with him I cried, I cried as if someone had died, as if one of my closest family members that I loved dearly had passed away. Thankfully, I had my girlfriends there for me, they held me, they told me that everything would be okay. During this time I didn't realize how this would change my life for the better. I didn't realize how this would make me stronger, how it made me realize who I wanted in my life and who I didn't. It also taught me a valuable lesson, what kind of friend I didn't want to be.

Later on, one of my girlfriends sent me a photo of Dan and his then Fiance. When I received the photo I smiled and then sent him one last message saying things that maybe I shouldn't have said, but I didn't and still don't regret them. I then blocked his number and blocked him from all social media and took him and her off all my e-mail accounts. As I previously said, I had to go through some emotions as if someone had passed away, in this case the emotions that I had the most were sadness, disappointment, anger and relief. I thank God for the real friends that HE has surrounded me with today, people that truly care about me and my feelings, Women that don't lie to me, People that keep it 100% REAL. I consider myself to be a very loyal friend I may have my flaws but I love unconditionally, someone you can always count on no matter what, someone that will tell you when you're wrong but will let you make your own decisions. A friend that cares, calls, texts, listens, and the list goes on. When I gain a friend, I gain another family member. I expect the same in return from all my friends.

The proudest moment is NOW.

Now, that I look back and realize that the friendship that I thought would last a lifetime was all a season of growing up and although I went through some growing pains from that relationship I learned that I am stronger and wiser than I know. And with the help of God and my friends I was able to get through it. I am a better person because of it, I've grown to love myself more and love those around me more. I've learned that people will come into your life to teach you lessons about yourself and then if they are meant to stay they will, if not they will continue their journey elsewhere. I learned that having a strong character doesn't mean that I don't have feelings, because I do. I am strong but I also have weak moments. And like any body else I don't like being lied too, that really can make or break any relationship for me. I think part of that is because I am bluntly honest, just ask my friends... they'll tell ya.

This is my proudest moment, growing from this experience as a woman and most importantly as a friend.


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