A Letter To My Younger Self...

April 21, 2016


Hey Scar!

You are so young and so full of life. 

This might sound crazy to you but I am a 32 year old writing you this letter because there are a couple of things I wish I would've known then, but no worries, I'm here to tell you them now. First thing is first, I know you're only 13yrs of age and I'm sorry to tell you but you're going to lose one of the most important people in your life, your Madrina, no one is ready for this, not even you. I know you're going to be angry at God for this, don't be... After this event takes place a couple years down the road you quickly turn 15yrs old, what a moment, so much for not wanting to grow up! You're going to make new friends, they are okay and some of them are going to be a part of your life forever, some are going to say they are but eventually they will hurt you, betray you and lie to you to get what they want. I'm here to tell you it's going to be okay, you are going to be okay. 

You are now in High School, don't give up and don't give in. Keep pushing forward, you could've finished High School if you would've put your mind to it and worked hard. You decided to give up, I don't hold it against you. Your family was going through a difficult time and when you left school you worked two jobs to help your family out. What's even more crazy is how it all worked out for the better. During this time you are still attending that church remember? There you meet new friends too! Guess what? some of those friends that you just met are still your friends today. I know how you feel in that church, you feel like an outsider looking in, no one takes you seriously because you are young. You decide from early on carry on the burden of anger towards many there, I'm here to tell you let it go, it's not worth it, please just leave it alone. 

You are 19 years old now, Wow, does time fly or what?!? You've stopped attending church, you say you're sick of the church people and you want nothing to do with God. It's not God's fault that these people hurt you or that they mistreated you. In fact, it's not even your fault. The anger has gotten worse, you've learned to hide it well, where is it all coming from? No, please don't shut me out. Listen, I'm just trying to help you, I understand you more than you know. I'm not here to judge or criticize you, please let me help. As I look at you I can see tears falling down your face and into your pillow every night, you're tired of living with this anger and bitterness, you need to figure out what is the root of the problem. I know why you're feeling this way, you have un-forgiveness in your heart. I know this is hard to hear but it's the truth. 

The truth hurts

Do you want to know what is truly bugging you? It's the fact that you have never had the love of an earthly father. You don't know what that is, you have a dad, know his name, know where he lives, heck, you even know some of his kids. What you don't know is why he has never been a father to you but has made the time to be a father to the rest of his kids that live in Nicaragua. You question yourself, is it something I did? No, it's not. You are not your father's past mistakes. You are worthy of love and affection. God gave you an amazing Woman as a mother, don't take her for granted. You need to learn to forgive your father to move forward. I know this is a touchy subject for you right now, but you need to hear this and do it. You will save yourself so much heartache and trouble, trust me.

You are so brilliant, creative, funny, loving and caring for others. You have this light about you that shines in the most darkest times. It's going to get better I promise. You're going to get married! Crazy right? Since you are over here talking about how you will never get married because that's not for you. Well, you will get married to a very supportive husband. He really does love you, he is understanding of your past, he knows when you hurt by just looking into your eyes, he is hard working and loves you more than he loves himself, you know like the way Christ loves the church. You don't have kids yet, it's not like you're not working to get them but it's not on your priority list. 

If there is one thing I will tell you to keep the same about you, it would be your honesty. There is so much of that lacking in today's world. You will see how much it changes, You will be in utter shock of the things that happen in the future. But, stay honest. Stay true to yourself. God gave you a strong character for a reason and will fulfill his purpose in your life. Don't be afraid to speak up, you never have been, so never stop. Also, don't be afraid of change I know you're accustomed that everything be in order and in one place... Change is good, it's necessary. 

Go back to church seek God wholeheartedly and draw closer to Him. Your relationship with God is going to become stronger, you will encourage so many. Your past mistakes won't define you but they will make you the person you will soon become. I promise you that God sees the bigger picture, you may not see it yet but it is already written. I want you to know that I will always be here for you but most importantly, God will always be here for you.. as He promised, He will never leave you nor forsake you. 

He's kept His promise.

One day, you will see all the things you have accomplished! I am proud of the Woman you will become. All these things that have happened to you will only make you stronger, will make you fight for what is right, for His truth. Don't believe you have it all figured out because you do not. You're still young even though in the eyes of the law you're considered an adult. You are still young and you have so much to learn. I'm still learning, every single day. I'm going to leave you with this bible verse in which I know you will relate, because it's on of our favorite bible verse of all time. It's strengthened you in your most difficult times and it has reassured your faith in happier times. 

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you may also be where I am." - John 14:1-3

xoxo

Scarleth

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2 comments

  1. I loved reading this, Scarleth! I'm so happy for you that you found Christ and have only grown closer and closer to Him.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you darling! God is good indeed! He's good for our souls! Xo

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